These good intentions and the painful, joyous things I've learned from them...

At the end of the day I just want integrity.

Your words, they don't fall on deaf ears. The answers just won't roll off these mute lips.

There are things I just don't have a space for in my life. There are no surfaces upon which they will settle comfortably. "This is beautiful, but where will I put it?" I've been carrying you around in my pocket. I should have left you in the space you already occupied, but you were growing and, excited by wonderful potentials, I had this urge to transplant you into something larger to give you that extra room. I guess I should have had another space before pulling you up, roots and all, and holding you up in the air like that.

Maybe analogies are stretching the matter and the plain truth lies in my fears. The things that terrify me most cannot be explained fully and shouldn't coexist, but there they are - one beside the other. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of being with someone. I saw someone else's happiness and thought, "I want that," but let me tell you something, other people's happiness cannot be imitated or reproduced. You have to find your own happiness. Whole truth be known, you can't even find happiness. It's not a game of hide and seek. The most you can do is what you love and what feels right and natural and when it comes to the rest, just "let it be."